Goodbye 21, Hello 22!

So first of all I have to say, this is going to be a very self-indulgent (and borderline narcissistic) post. It's probably of no interest to anyone but myself, but that's okay. More than anything I've found writing this post cathartic, and I'm look forwards to reading this in a years time. As my 22nd birthday draws nearer, I've taken some time to flip through my camera roll over the last year of my life, and have a little reflection of the things I've done and person I've been. I'd strongly encourage anyone who's remotely interested to do the same thing for themselves, it's been truly eye-opening to indulge in my evolution over the year.

July

Starting the year off we, of course, have my 21st bday- a joint party with my friend Izzy and all of our close friends. My Dad also happened to rustle up an incredible tiki bar just in time for the celebrations, and it goes without saying that we lived out our bartending fantasy that night. 

I went of my first family holiday in 3 years to Antalya Turkey, a beautiful holiday at a much slower pace than I've had in a few years. We basked in the sun upon the resorts wooden jetty, and my sister and I especially spent hours splashing about in the warm clear sea- two souls bopping up and down the waves along the Mediterranean coast. 

Touch down in England, straight to bed, and then up and off to my graduation. It goes without saying it was a momentous occasion marking the graft of 3 years hard work, and ceremoniously said goodbye to the 'child' in me who had been in education for 17 years. Not 3 days after my graduation, and I was in Oxfordshire for Truck festival- not a festival celebrating large vehicles, but an intimate 5,000-10,000 attendee indie music festival, with some of my nearest and dearest.

August- September

It seems to me like August and September were months of reflection and self care, with most pictures in my camera roll being of my friends, days out with my family, peaceful sunset book reads and explorations of nature. All of which happen to be what makes me happiest in life. I remember having a lot of time to reflect and connect with myself in August, and actually remember it as quite a pinnacle point in the awakening of me questioning and re-evaluating who I was and what I wanted. I connected so much with my friends and family in these two months, going on a week of adventures with my Mum Sister and Cousin- going for lunch, paddle boarding, going on national trust walks and visiting wildlife parks. I also watched Madness perform at Bristol Downs with my dad as his Father's Day present, and God did he live out his ska-head youth. It was really a great experience to see my 50 year-old Dad drunk-dance to 'It Must Be Love' wearing a red fez- the cherry on the cake if you will.

My friends (bar Priya) were also officially back from university, and it felt so great to get my gang back together and immerse my life with lunch dates and spontaneous nights out. September also had some downfalls, with the volume of time I had alone spiralling my stress-induced IBS, leaving my stomach swollen and hard for the majority of the month. September also marks the beginning of my skin journey, having developed acne at 20 and finally being prescribed antibiotics. Having come out the other side (for the most part) a year later, I am SO thankful that I sought medical help, and feel so much more comfortable in my own skin.

October- November

This month is really when everything changed. My relationship of 3 and a half years amicably came to an end, and unsurprisingly I really threw myself into my friendships and social life. I'm actually very grateful that I felt so grounded during this time, and even though there's no right or wrong way to deal with a break-up, I'm glad that I was so level-headed and in control of my emotions (though I understand it was a rare reaction). 

From the end of September I also started focussing more on my career progression, having allowed myself the summer to just enjoy myself and live it up after so long in education. Whilst I was definitely stressed about the fact I had no career prospect in the industry of my choice, I was working part-time at a supermarket and started managing a couple of businesses social media accounts. I really did start focussing on myself and being selfish in the most positive of ways during these months, and quickly embraced my new life and routine. I also dyed my hair very dark brown and got a piercing because, I mean, thats what you do during a break up.

December- Feb

Probably the wildest and most fun months of my 21 year old life (or even my adult life). I really lived out my teenage fantasy of wild club night, having drinks, eating well, dressing how I liked, and really coming into myself. These months without a doubt mark to start of me experimenting and exploring who I am and starting to feel more confident and assured in myself. Whilst I wasn't at where I am now, these months feel so special and nostalgic, especially with Christmas and New Years thrown into the mix. Of course, in December my social life was popping, and during the next couple of months I went out every Friday and Saturday night religiously. I also got back into the habit of taking myself out solo, whether it was browsing the Mall or reading in Cafe Nero.

More big changes in January! Yes for growth!! After much hard work running businesses social media accounts and featuring as a guest writer on blogs, I got invited to an interview in London where I was offered my first full-time job! I remember feeling very stressed at the beginning of January, I hadn't met my goal of being in full time employment by the end of 2019 and felt unsure of what else I could be doing. I love my Waitrose friends but was so excited to be moving onto a new point in my life, and soon enough February rolled around, and I moved to London for 3 weeks to start my training.

 

March

Unbeknown to me, this is of course when Covid-19 propelled the UK into lockdown. However, the start of March saw me return to Bristol and start my new and exciting job. I felt so incredibly lucky, with our beautiful office on King Street (!!), and my new balance of hard work during the week and having a bloody good time on the weekend really fulfilling me. You really have to laugh at the fact I only had 2 weeks officially carrying out my new job before I was put on furlough and have remained since (update- I'm being let go at the end of July), but I really can't complain, I'm in a great position and a lot worse things are happening in the world.

April-June

As with most of the Earthly population, the months from March until now have more or less been a write off in some aspects- which is okay! Of course socialising didn't exist for a strong few months, but over this time I developed such a great sense of gratitude- be it for my friends, my family, my life and my own potential. I've managed lockdown considerably well, taking up the mindset that I've been fortunate enough to have been given the gift of time. During lockdown I've read and written, I've baked, I've walked, pub-quizzed, painted, got fitter, and really come into myself. I feel so strongly about exploring as many things that interest me as possible, and learning about different beliefs, strifes and walks of life. 

I didn't want to wash over June as if it wasn't one of the most societally and politically poignant months in modern history. As we all should know, George Floyd was brutally killed buy Minneapolis police on May 25th, and whilst this narrative of police brutality against African-American citizens is not a new one, this murder catapulted the world into protest. It's disgraceful that George and so many before him were murdered to bring this racial pandemic to the forefront of society and draw attention (to the white & non-black community) to the senseless racism both systematically and socially present in black peoples day to day lives. I'm truly in awe of the strength and response of the black community. How a community can call-out their oppressors and the way society has been moulded against them with such dignity and peace is beyond me, and I didn't want to go without mentioning the pain of this month, and the demand for a crucially needed racial revolution.

Reflecting on this year, I believe it's been one of the most important and monumental thus far. If my life was a book, I would call this chapter "the fruition of friendships and the self". Yes, extremely self-indulgent, but let me have my moment. Even after uploading photos from each month, I can see the change in myself, with my months in lockdown being extremely poignant and feeling the most authentic to myself. I'm so excited to see what 22 brings me, and look forwards to my lockdown birthday.